I Am Exploding (poem by me)

I am exploding, tearing at the seams 

With sweet hope and melancholy steeped in dreams 

I move with aching urgency to the swaying beat and wail of strangeness and charm 

I hear seductive voices of invisible demons, slippery in my mortal grasp 

I see worlds of kaleidoscope color, spinning with faces and flowing from my pencil tip 

I want to understand myself 

I am exploding, tearing at the seams 

With sweet hope and melancholy steeped in dreams 

I feel as though my whole body is humming with bolts of eccentric lightning 

I create a secret place, its walls splashed with molten emotion

and sprinkled with fairy dust 

I wish I could open my eyes and turn my reality into something electric 

I try to understand myself 

I am exploding, tearing at the seams 

With sweet hope and melancholy steeped in dreams 

I touch soft fabric in my hands, a slick and silky river of wonder and possibility 

I cry when loneliness colors my thoughts with droplets of toxic gray 

I know I have fire in me, but fear coats my insides with sticky hesitation 

I need to understand myself 

I am exploding, tearing at the seams 

With sweet hope and melancholy steeped in dreams.